Why did he go to the U.S. and why isn’t he going back to Turkey?
Fethullah Gulen explains why he went to the U.S. and why he is not able to go back to Turkey, despite his great longing for home, with these words:
“I came here for medical treatment. I see good reason in staying here a while longer, after the treatment. I do not have teeth to bite with like the others do. I do not have claws to attack them with. The others, they bite and they get away with it. They thrust their claws and some things are ripped open. They say things to hurt my honor and pride. I hold onto my religion and values. I try to live a life of indebtedness, but the other side knows nothing of humanistic values. As they attack, they do not realize that they are kicking and stomping on top of these values. Since they are as such, I stay here in waiting with the thoughts of at least not allowing myself to be saddened and trampled on, waiting for a more positive atmosphere to arise. As long as the people here don’t say ‘go on, get out’ to me, I will wait for the air to calm down a bit more in Turkey. I would not want to be the cause of another storm to break out in Turkey before the waters calm down completely. As there are many people with the sur on their lips, just waiting to blow on it… [Zaman, 04.01.2004]
“I am worried. Those who break out a storm whenever I come to Turkey, those who bring about the tornadoes, those who accuse with false claims and who confine me to execution, they will do the same thing once more. After old age, my blood pressure has reached twenty and they haven’t been able to decrease it through medication. I figured it would be difficult to be able to live, hearing the same accusations day in and day out. I stayed here through my own mind and logic. I stayed in spite of myself. I buried my longing into my heart, and I stayed. However, I saw it as indirectly pushing myself towards a slow death. Some people have no mercy. They write impossible things. They write them, even though they themselves know that it is not the truth.” [Zaman, 03.26.2004]
“My coming here was for my health, this time. Then, when the storms in Turkey grew even stronger, I found it more convenient to continue with my treatment here. It was obvious that with my current health problems, including heart, blood pressure, and cholesterol, I wouldn’t be able to endure the tension building up in Turkey. I lived inside America but away from America because many rumors were being spread, like the Green Belt, like connecting us to America’s projects…I refused to meet with anyone, I turned down conference requests from universities so as not to give any opportunity for these inappropriate claims. My place is among my people and in my home country, with its every rock and soil. If we were to describe it in terms of Islamic law, my stay here was that of choosing the lighter one of two wrong things. I did not want to come here, but Dr. Sait was very insistent. He said that my health conditions could not endure any negligence. I was going to have to choose between living in a foreign country, away from my country and my people—though it would be too hard on me—and being face-to-face with people who formed new conspiracies every day by—in the words of one of our statesmen—magnifying small details. After consulting a few friends on their opinion of the matter, I consented to endure this longing so that I would not take offense on my own people after witnessing certain negativities. Despite the fact that I had previously been aware of the conspiracy in June about the sermon tapes, I only took a look at certain parts of it when it was published. I did not read the articles of the ones who had been together with the conspirators so that I would not bear any hard feelings towards them inside me. A body’s endurance dies down after a certain age. As an Arab poet expresses, I prefer to stay afar and be there only with my heart and conscience so that nothing comes about to prevent me from feeling that closeness. Let me express it with some pleasant humor. In Sufism, there is a position that is even beyond love. Those that stand there do not wish for even the union with their Beloved. That is, they say, let the flames burn inside me and let me cry with longing and sorrow, yet I do not wish for a union. Such a pleasant longing, such a zestful sorrow seems much deeper, much more faithful and much more sincere to me. After all, there is no legal obstacle for me to return. I have not, for an instant, given up on the thought of returning to Turkey. I had the issue inquired about to important figures in Turkey. They said, ‘There is no problem, he can come back’, but the way they said, ‘he can come back’ made me feel as though I would stir up trouble for them when I did come back. When the issue was asked to someone who had been in an important position before retirement and who also stood close to them, his reply to the question, “What would my coming back mean to them?” was a smile but followed by a “it would be better that he not come,” afterwards. It is possible that my coming back is thought to have the potential of triggering certain things. It is supposed that some individuals will have the people pour into the streets and cause unrest. I do not want to give anyone the opportunity to destroy the environment of stability that has finally been established in Turkey.” [Milliyet, 01.29.2005]
“I have thought about returning to Turkey, ever since the day I came here. I live with dreams of Turkey, even when I am living here. I watch Turkey through the television, I smell Turkey through it. Just recently I had a glass display case made just for them, and I put them in there. I watch and feel Turkey through those pieces of soil. My love for Turkey exceeds the love of those that live in Turkey and seem as though they love Turkey. My love is like Mecnun’s; it is enough to drive one crazy. I so very much desire to go there, but, so far, my close friends have told me that certain individuals are constantly spreading out and publishing false news. They publish sensational and extraordinary things. “Taking you heart and sugar into account, such things might give you discomfort. Over there you live in a forested land; it is a much sounder and healthier place. It would be much better for you to stay there,” were the recommendations of all my close friends. Their advice for me was in such a direction. And so, I bear my longing for Turkey and feel its sting like the pain of a harpoon, but, for now, I plan to stay here so that I do not become some kind of material for others and so that I do not wear myself out as a person.” [Samanyolu TV, 07.14.2004]
“I never thought of the fact that I would bring about trouble on myself. Actually, I never worried on my own behalf. I have nothing to connect me to this world. There is not even a propped up stone that belongs to me in this world. I did not have a family or any children. I did not make any plans off into the future. I considered all of these contradictory with the thought and cause that I became a part of, that I gave my heart and soul, the cause that I made my great ideal. I did not bear love for any worldly things; I did not become tied to anything. Though many desirable things came to the tip of my fingers, I did not think or say, for even a second, “Let these be for me.” The only thing I wanted was for the glorious name of our Prophet Muhammad to spread its wings throughout the world. Yet, I was unable to say what should be said in the way that it should be said; I mixed in my ego, I wasn’t able to adjust my voice… I never felt any worries for my own self, in fact, I used to think, “They will probably hang me when I am 44 years old.” Then I thought, “Since they didn’t hang me at 44, they will at 55, that’s also a multiple of 11.” I became 66, and I thought, “Maybe they’ll hang me now.” That didn’t happen either. I lived with these feelings and dreams inside me. My Gracious Lord is my witness; He knows what is in my heart. However, if you have a grand vision and purpose in life, if you are living for an ideal, and if that means for no problems to come about in Turkey, no restlessness to occur, and for people to not lose—May God protect us from it—all that has been gained so far, and if my going there is going to hurt those chances by even 1%, then with that worry, not on account of myself, but for that risk only, I do not want to go. If, though, I am to see a picture that wipes out my worries, then that will be for this poor soul to know. For this poor soul to know… the expression, “For me to know” still reeks of egoism, so I say, “For this poor soul to know,” it will be for this poor soul to know. If when I do go back there, if certain individuals who are after taking revenge are going to harm certain organizations and put the current administration in a bad position, even if that possibility is only 1%, I will prefer to stay here for some time longer, as long as my days will last. I will stay here and live here with a love and longing for my home, remembering the coffeehouses in which I drank coffee and running away from the memories every time my nostrils sting with the pain of longing, just so that I do not bring any harm upon my country, my people and the positive developments in my country. When all these worries have disappeared, I will sit down with my friends who have been my companions through my fate, and will talk it over in detail with them, and maybe then… I too wish to go back. Even if I were to die here, I do not want to be buried here; I wish to be buried in my own country, in my own soil. When I first came here, thinking of the possibility of dying here, I had told my friends, “Buy a piece of land here so that it belongs to us, to the Turkish people, and if I die here you can bury me there as well.” Later on, though, I decided against it; the feeling of longing for home prevented me from thinking so. I wish to die in my own country and be buried next to the feet of my blessed mother. Consider this to by will!... No matter what, I cannot agree to even the slightest degree of harm to come upon my people and my country on account of my actions, thoughts, plans or efforts. I cannot agree to this even the possibility is as low as 1%.” [Bamteli, 06.18.2012]
To be continued..
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